Locker Room

Remember how I told you I recently decided to dig through my old Xanga?

I guess the first sparks of “inspiration” that started this blog started way back when I was in college and still thought Xanga was cool. Yes, albeit sloppily worded, some of the stories from my old “blog” were quite amusing and even salvageable.

Here’s one episode I almost forgot about that took place in a Locker Room (only very slight edits):

After a rather spastic kickboxing session, I was casually walking over to the locker rooms to enjoy some sauna bliss. Obliviously text messaging a friend, I hummed to myself as I imagined the nice hot shower that would soon envelope my sweaty mess of a body. Reaching the end of the hall,Ii saw a wall in my periphery vision and passively turned into the doorway on my left.

Passing a locker, I finally sent off the text I had been so busily typing and finally lifted my head to look for an empty spot where I could put my things down. The first thing I saw were three little kids. Curiously enough, they somehow just didn’t look like little girls.

But my brain being my brain, it took a few moments for the facts to really click. Even when I locked eyes with a portly elderly individual sitting in a chair.

Wow, I thought, even an old droopy woman doesn’t look that manly


The seated elder and I continued staring at each other, even as he started, undeterred by my increasingly horrified gaze, to casually take off his boxers.

My hands flew to my mouth. “Oh shit,” came the involuntary outburst.

I turned around and sprinted out of the locker room.

‘I am SO sorry!’ I cried out behind me.

All I could hear was the old guy’s laughter trailing after me as I fled the gym altogether.


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