Creepy Indian man walking past me on the street stops, fakes a double take, then rushes back and plants himself squarely in front of me to say, “Hi, I had to stop because you just stole my heart. Would it be okay if I gave you my name?”
Asian dude I’m in an elevator alone with looks at me, then shouts, “JANE?! Oh SHIT. Sorry, I thought you were my other friend. Hi, I’m John.”
Guy plants a surprise kiss on my lips, pulls back and grins, and declares, “I just wanted to see if I still got it. What do you think?”
Guy throws something at my shoe, makes an act of bending down to pick it up, then proceeds to climb up my body from foot to face with his eyes, all the while crooning, “Daaaaaaaayyyyyuuuuuuuumn!”
Drunk clubgoer suddenly jumps out from around the corner of the bathroom screaming, “WWWWWAAAAAAAZZZZZZAAAAAAAPPPPPPPP” like a Budweiser commercial.